Roger's Eulogy

This is the eulogy that Mark gave at Roger's funeral service 10/29/2009.

"Thanks for being here today. I know I speak for all of Roger’s family in expressing our appreciation for your presence. Although we mourn his death today, we celebrate his life.
Sunday, as Roger’s condition significantly worsened and the doctors told us that recovery was not possible, the family began to discuss this service, Katie asked about a eulogy. I don’t know if she was asking me to give it or not, but thinking that might be what she was asking, I immediately responded with “No, I can’t do it.” At the time, I didn’t think I could, but as I thought some more about it during my drive home Sunday night, I decided I needed to and wanted to. I changed my mind because I want to share with you some of the things I learned about my brother from Jessica, Lexie, Katie, and Denise and a few of his Sidney friends as we were together at the hospital this past weekend. Many things I already knew about the love that Roger had for life, his family and friends and the love they had for him, but they were reinforced as we spent a very difficult time together.
First, I must say that:
1. Roger’s hospital care at UNMC in Omaha was extraordinary. The outcome wasn’t what we wanted, but the doctors and nurses worked tirelessly and were selfless in doing everything that could be done and also in spending time with the family and explaining Roger’s worsening condition. It was very clear to me that they loved their challenging work, but more importantly, loved their patients and their families. At least 5 doctors, especially neurosurgeons Drs. Thorrell and Cheadle, several specialized critical care technicians and two nurses took care of him. The two ICU nurses, Deb and Laurie, worked long shifts, but tirelessly and compassionately in their care of Roger. They worked continuously during their shifts. The technology in an ICU is amazing, but it requires constant attention and everything must be recorded. That fact notwithstanding, everyone caring for Roger at the hospital always had time to speak with the family and gave us all the time we needed. The hospital chaplain also spent several hours with us, even returning to be with the family after midnight, early Sunday morning.
2. Roger was my little brother and I was very happy when he joined the family. I was 5 1/2, Janice was 4. One of my most treasured photos is the small colored photo you may have seen in the narthex of the church of Roger, Janice and our dad, taken I believe, on the day of Roger’s baptism, probably before church as Janice was perfect in her red dress and perfectly combed hair and I had my little tie on with the palm trees and my hair was as well combed as it ever was. Unfortunately, our mom was taking the photo so she wasn’t in the photo, but I’m sure she was as happy as the rest of the family with Roger’s arrival. Due to the differences in our ages, however, I don’t recall that we spent a lot of time playing together. I expect that I was the occasionally (frequently, maybe) obnoxious, self-important, egotistical, older brother that was too busy to deal with a younger brother. I do recall one little episode, however, very well. Some of you have heard the boxing glove story. I’ll spare you all the details, but say only that our mother, in an apparent weak moment purchased 2 pairs of boxing gloves at a rummage (garage) sale. Soon after arriving home, I convinced Roger that we should put them on, go down to the basement and give them a try. I’m guessing I was a freshman in high school at the time and Roger, probably in 2nd or 3rd grade, anyway a bit of a mismatch. The end result after one well placed punch, was a bloody nose and some serious crying. The boxing gloves were never seen again and I don’t recall Roger wanting to “play” with me again, although we probably did.
3. As adults, I regret that we went our separate ways and didn’t interact that much except for special occasion family activities or when I needed telephone repair advice. My last conversation, in fact, involved several calls to Roger about 3 weeks ago seeking advice on splicing a new phone line for a fax machine. Several calls were needed, because I wasn’t astute enough to remember even the basics of telephone wiring, although we had been through it all before a few years ago. I heard from his friends that he particularly enjoyed helping out his older brother with “all his college degrees” do a basic telephone wiring procedure. He was gracious in admitting that my color blindness might be a handicap.
Anyway, I’m happy to report that the fax machine is working today thanks to my brother Roger.
4. Roger loved his life in Sidney and he had a large number of Sidney friends that loved him. I regret to say that this summer was the only time I remember visiting Roger’s little acreage north of Sidney with the small chicken house and golf driving range in the front yard. I’m not making that up. You probably need to see it I guess. A pastime of Roger and his friends was hitting golf balls from his front yard at the neighbor’s barn (not in use I trust) across and down the road. I’m not a golfer, but I think that it took a pretty good swing to do it. And then there were the chickens that started as a birthday present from Denise and expanded by Roger into a fresh & free farm egg delivery route. That’s right, no charge, free eggs, delivered. Another example of Roger’s love for his Sidney friends.
5. Roger’s love for family and friends was also evident after his successful, but difficult recovery from prostate cancer surgery. As he was recovering, he and Denise (together, I believe) decided to purchase a motor home and do some traveling. I wondered about that as I didn’t think Roger was particularly adventurous or liked being away from home that well. I recall, in fact, when he came to our son, Daniel and Stephanie’s wedding in Sioux City in June of 2002, after the ceremony at the church, when I asked him if he was going to the reception, he replied, “No way, I’m getting out of this town before dark.” Admittedly, Sioux city is not the easiest city to navigate. When I heard about the motor home I told Linda who gave me this quizzical look and asked, “Why, he doesn’t go anywhere.” I told her that might have been true in the past, but I knew he planned to take it to Okabena for the 4th of July celebration. She wasn’t sure if that qualified as traveling or not. I admit that I wasn’t sure, either. To be fair, he did take it “up north” after the 4th of July and has been back to Minnesota with it since that time. But for Roger, it was as much traveling as he wanted as it involved spending time with family and friends and that was the most important thing in his life. That was all that mattered. We are all grateful that he had those few months of relatively good health and time to travel; travel to do what he loved most, be with his family and friends.
6. Denise, thank you for your love and care for my brother. I know that you were a big part of his life these past few years and after the prostate cancer diagnosis and surgery, and the most recent surgery, you were there for him when the rest of us, due to distance, couldn’t be there all of the time. Thank you, we love you and you will always be considered a member of our family.
7. Jessica, Lexie, and Katie; I knew you loved your dad a lot, but after this past weekend, and all the difficult time we spent together, I know now the depth of that love. Especially Sunday afternoon, as I listened to you and a friend from Sidney reminisce about the wonderful and adventurous times you had growing up and going to school in Sidney and the occasional (frequent, maybe?) episodes where your dad’s firm hand or guidance was required. I know the guidance was carefully measured and gently applied. You three and your families meant everything to your dad. You were the world to him and with your families and our mother and Denise, all that mattered. I don’t ever recall Roger talking about a new “thing” or expensive toy that he had purchased and how wonderful it was.
I will close by saying that Roger in his all too brief life of 56 years achieved what too few of us ever do, and that’s the knowledge or understanding of what’s really important in life and it’s the unconditional love of family and friends. Even as he struggled with his health during these past few months, his love of life was not diminished. My brother loved his life in Sidney, his job, his little acreage with the chickens, the Minnesota Vikings, deer hunting, fishing, and looking for morel mushrooms, but nothing was as important to him as his family and his friends.
May God grant my brother (our brother) Roger, eternal peace and always keep him in the hollow of his loving hand."

Mom (Margaret) said there were lots of stories about Roger going around after the service. If you have one of those you want to share click on the share option below and write it down. Or e-mail it to me and I will post it here for you.

In Memory of Roger Titus

With a heavy heart I am letting you all know that Roger Titus passed away on October 25th. He was 56 years young but lived life to the fullest and enjoyed his life so much! He had an aneurism and it was operated on about the 21st I think. He was making some progress but took a turn for the worst on Friday night. I'm not going in to too much more detail because I'm not sure of the details and the sequence.

Big hugs and prayers for you girls....Jessica, Lexie and Katie. And your kids and your families. And of course for Gayle and Mark and all of us!

I'm so glad Roger came to the reunion this summer and we were all able to see him. That is a good memory to keep.

His service will be in Lakefield at the Methodist Church at 10:30 AM on Thursday the 29th.

Please feel free to post your thoughts here about Roger.

This is the only picture I got of Roger I got at the reunion.

Great Family Reunion

I am not a pro at this blog format so the pictures kind of came after the words and are not in the order I uploaded them. I'm not going to spend the time to figure this out so here you go. If you want me to post your pics e-mail them to me and I will. I tried to take just a cross section of pictures and get each family group in at least.


A nice scene taken Sunday morning on a wet walk

Katie's son, Mitchell. Hope I got that right. Found out this is Jessica's son! At least I had the right family!

Mark doing his thing.

Mark, Leslie,Spencer and Tina. Jaden in the front.












I I would consider our recent reunion a success! I had a great time although I did not get to visit with as many of you as I would have liked to. But I am one of those people who is helpful and busy all of the time. One of my traits which is very hard to ignore. Not that it is a trait I like all of the time.

Thank you everyone who had a part in making this so successful! Those who pitched in and worked hard, those who took pictures, those who came and met their family probably for the first time, those who brought food and drinks, those who spent the night, Mark for the presentation. We all know more Titus history now than we did before. At least I do. Thanks to the Illinois folks who came...Marylou, Natalie, Kye, Hal, Marcel and Madeline. It was so great to see you. And thanks for the name tags. Those helped a lot. They are even visible in most pictures so that helps when looking at them.

I would love to hear comments from you about this too. Please click on the word comment below and add your impression of the reunion. There is talk of doing another one in 2-3 years. The Duluth area has been suggested so far.

As I said above I don't know how to use this so labeled some pics and can't figure out the others. So you will all have to figure out who is who!

Thanks again everyone for everything. It was great.

P.S. I linked to Tim's new blog. It is the Loving to get High Syndrome link. Check it out.

Only 4 more days

Wow! It is almost here. Can't wait to see all of you! It's going to be fun. It's been great hearing from everyone and talking to you. It will be a good time to catch up on everyone's lives. Mark has prepared a slide show and presentation about Titus history so that will be interesting for sure.

A remindier...bring your own drinks. Beer and wine are OK. Potluck Saturday evening. Grilling hot dogs and burgers. 90th birthday party for Margaret Sunday afternoon.

See you soon!

Reunion Reminder

Hello wonderful family!
We are only 2 weeks away from the big week-end. It will be here before we can blink an eye. I am really excited to see all of you. And I have heard from most of you and know you will be there! There could be about 70 of us there for the Saturday afternoon evening reunion! Quite a group. Hope we can figure out how to get a group picture. That will be a challenge I think.

Since the time is so close I decided I better get out another update about the details.

When: July 11th 1 PM-whenever you all go home or go to bed if you are staying! I'm hoping everyone hangs out and can be at our campfire later on. Bring on the s'mores!
Place: Shalom HIll Farm, 42194 County Road 3, Windom. www.shalomhillfarm.org
Food: We will be grilling hot dogs and hamburgers about 5 PM. We are asking everyone to bring something to share for the sides. Potluck! Bring your own drinks. Coffee and Iced Tea will be furnished. Beer and wine OK. Bring your coolers as there won't be enough frig space for all of the drinks.

That is the official reunion time. But we will be there starting Friday afternoon through Sunday afternoon. So you are welcome to come and hang out anytime at all during the week-end!

Since Shalom Hill Farm is a place that emphasizes care for the environment I would like to suggest we bring our own coffee mug and water bottle.

Sunday July 12th 11:00 AM there will be a brunch prepared by the staff at the farm. If you have not let me know you can attend that part of it please do so as they need to know a week ahead of time how many to prepare for. Thank you.

Then from 1:00-4:00 PM will be the 90th birthday party for Mom. And we would love to have all of you there for that, too.

See you all then.

In closing I would like to ask for prayers for Josiah's father in law Phil Olson. He had a stroke a few days ago and really needs our prayers! Thank you.

Margaret's Party Invitation

Margaret Titus is turning 90
and we are having a party to celebrate.

When: Sunday July 12, 2009
Where: Shalom Hill Farm
North of Windom, MN
Time: Open House 1:00-4:00 PM

Given by her 5 children and their families.
For other information please call Mary at 925-427-7225 or e-mail at marymarg47@yahoo.com


No gifts please
But a donation of one of the following to Shalom Hill Farm would be welcome.
toilet paper, kleenix tissues, LED night light replacement bulbs, refill jugs of liquid hand soap, liquid dish soap, cat and/or dog food, new mattress protector pads (single or double bed size), pillow protectors (zip or fold over style), and solar landscape/walk way lights.

Shalom Hill Farm is a retreat/meeting center which advocates for rural life and ministry and the environment. To find out more go to
www.shalomhillfarm.org


Directions: From Minneapolis/St. Paul--Take Hwy 169 from the Cities to Mankato. At Mankato, 169 runs together with Hwy 60 for a time. Stay on 60 through Lake Crystal. Just before Madelia, take the Hwy 15 exit toward New Ulm. Go @1 mile and turn left (west) onto Cty. Rd. 3 toward LaSalle. Approx. 1 mile past LaSalle turn right (west) toward Darfur. Stay on this road until you cross Hwy 71 and come to Jeffers (4 miles west of 71). At Jeffers turn left (south) on Cty road 52. Go 4 miles on this road (the last mile is gravel) and turn right (west) on Cty 3. One of our signs marks this turn. Go @1.5 miles and we are on the right side of the road.
From Jeffers, MN (4 miles west of US Hwy 71 on MN Hwy 30)--Go 4 miles south on Cty Rd 52 to Cty Rd 3 (the last mile is gravel). Turn right (west) onto Cty 3. Cty 3 is a gravel road marked with one of our blue and white directional signs. Go 1.75 miles and we are the farm place on top of the hill.
From Worthington, MN--Take Hwy 60 north east to Heron Lake. Turn left (north) on Cty Rd 9. Go about 10 miles to Cty Rd 13. Turn right (east) on Cty Rd 13 and go 4 miles to Cty Rd 21. Go left (north) on Cty Rd 21 for 3mile on gravel to the T-intersection. Turn right and we are the first place on the left.
From Jackson, MN --coming into Windom on Hwy 60/71, turn west onto 10th St. In about 4 blocks, 10th St turns into River Rd. (County Rd 13). Take this road approximately 7 miles to County Rd 21 (a gravel road). Turn right (North) onto County 21 and drive 3 miles to the “T”. Turn right. The farm is on your left

A great response

After the e-mail I sent on May 23rd I've gotten a lot of responses. At this time there are at least 65 folks who will be attending the Saturday afternoon reunion. That is so exciting! I know there are others who have not responded that will also be there so we can expect a great crowd. Stay tuned for further news!

Mark is planning a Titus Trivia Contest! Bone up on that Titus history!